


Once More, With Feeling

by Corindrae



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Brief suicidal ideation, Dubious Consent, Emperor Armitage Hux, Enemies to Lovers, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, M/M, Memory Loss, Misunderstandings, Rape/Non-con Elements, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, abuse recovery, married!kylux, no beta we die like ben, the entire star wars cast needs a hug tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:26:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25547416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corindrae/pseuds/Corindrae
Summary: As Hux wakes, groggily, he finds that there are two things of note.One: he is floating. His limbs feel weightless, numb. Relaxed, in a way that they have never been before.Two: there is an arm on Hux's chest.He sits up. Cold fear washes over him.It's Kylo Ren. The arm belongs to Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader Ren, his abuser, his enemy, who is now waking, too--Kylo Ren looks up at him, and blinks, eyes heavy with sleep, and, inexplicably, relief."Hux," he breathes. “How are you feeling?”-Or: Hux and Kylo have worked hard to move beyond their turbulent, abusive history. As a married couple with Hux as acting Emperor and Kylo as Supreme Leader, it seems like their efforts have paid off. This is all turned on its head, however, when Hux loses his memory, forgetting (almost) everything, and the past resurfaces.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 24
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW in the end notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW in the end notes

"Emperor Hux."

"Supreme Leader."

Hux can feel Ren's intense eyes on him, picking him apart. There's something about his gaze that's always felt overpowering, as if Ren's attention is a cloud of smoke settling over him. More recently, that cloud has begun to feel less smothering, and more comforting. 

And yet-- unblinking, Ren is still staring at him. Of course he is. It's been three weeks since they've last seen each other. The way Hux sees it, for any other married couple, a period of separation (especially for work-related matters) wouldn't be considered anything extreme -- but everything about Ren is extreme to the point where it spreads around him, like an infection, polluting any sort of reason that dares to draw close.

Except for Hux. It's baffling to him, sometimes, that of all the things Ren has corrupted to his liking, he has been left as he is. Not unscathed. But still himself.

Ren smiles. "Did you miss me?"

-

He repeats the question when they're back in their room, huddled close, Ren's fingers laced in his, their foreheads pressed together. 

Hux sniffs. "It was three weeks, Ren. I barely had time to register you were gone, let alone pine for you."

He pulls back, looks over Ren's bruised face. Brushes a finger over his cheek. _What do you think?_ he sends, quietly. One of the benefits of having a mind-reader. He's sure he would choke on the words if they had to be spoken aloud to be heard. Mercifully, he doesn't have to bare himself in that way. It feels safer like this. When no one but Ren is allowed to see his weakness.

Ren smiles and pulls him close again. "I missed you, too," he whispers, like it's a secret. Like anything about Ren is a secret, like he doesn't bare his thoughts on his face. 

"I hope you found what you were looking for," Hux says, coolly. He extricates himself from Ren's tight grip, gently, and rolls onto his back to face the ceiling.

"I did," Ren says, getting up. He leans over Hux, presses a kiss to his face before padding off to the fresher. "I found something for you, too," he calls, over his shoulder.

"What?"

"Dresser."

Hux groans, and rolls out of bed, covering himself with his coat as he moves. True to Ren's word, there is a black box, small enough to fit easily in the palm of his hand, waiting there for him. He undoes the latch, and peers inside, extracting the single clear crystal that waits for him there. It's such a tiny thing, but something about holding it fills him with a sense of overwhelming emotion. He wants to set it down, but he hesitates. Calls out instead.

"What is this? Ren?"

No response. He can hear the sound of water running in the fresher, probably drowning out his words. Even without the added noise, Ren is not the best at paying attention to his surroundings. Mostly, Hux blames Snoke for this. Ren spends too much time pondering meaningless things that he believes to be useful, constructive in some way, because that is what he was taught. But without the influence of Snoke or any other Force user, Hux has long identified that inner voice to be nothing more than self-loathing chatter. Not useful. Not constructive. Just destructive. He had once made the mistake of assuming those three things were synonymous. But not again.

He turns the crystal in his hand, allowing it to catch the light. Since he was a boy, Hux had always known that one day, he would be the last man standing -- above everyone else, the galaxy at his feet and command. But not once had he imagined that he would have someone standing by his side through all of it, least of all Ren. Not once had he imagined that he would want him there. Perhaps, he muses, it explains his inability to separate himself from Ren, despite the chaos he brings. After all these years, Ren is still able to surprise him, to excite him. Although, well. That he loves Ren is likely an important factor as well. Not that he'll ever admit that out loud. He hates him more, hates how much he needs Ren and he hates Ren for making it that way, too. But he wouldn't have it any other way.

Hux places the crystal back in the box and shuts the lid. He'll ask Ren more about it later -- though he supposes it has something to do with the Force, and any "explanations" Ren has to offer him on the subject will be equally as informative as no explanation at all.

He takes a step away from the dresser, and frowns, a wave of nausea flowing over him. Resisting the urge to gag, he stumbles towards the bed. Sleep deprivation, perhaps -- not something he's fallen victim to in quite a while, but it's possible. Loath as he is to admit it, he sleeps better with Ren at his side. And--

...

No.

Something is wrong.

But before he can even register what it is, the floor is rushing up to meet him. There's a deafening ringing in the air, and then--

Nothing.

-

As Hux wakes, groggily, he finds that there are two things of note.

One: he is floating. Or, somehow, he is suspended, midair. His limbs feel weightless, numb. Relaxed, in a way that they have never been before. There's a pressure in his chest that makes him want to never open his eyes again, never stir.

Two: there is an arm on Hux's chest. An arm--

He sits up. Cold fear washes over him. 

It's Kylo Ren. The arm belongs to Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader Ren, his abuser, his enemy, who is now waking, too--

Kylo Ren looks up at him, and blinks, eyes heavy with sleep, and, inexplicably, relief. His hair is damp, filled with moisture.

"Hux," he breathes, running a monstrously large hand over Hux's shoulders. Hux's breath is caught in his throat. He cannot move. "How are you feeling? You collapsed." Horrifically, Kylo Ren does not pull away there, and instead, moves to press a kiss to Hux's neck. "Have you been overworking yourself again?"

Well. This cannot continue. Hux will not stand for it. He may not know where he is (some sort of bedroom?), what he is doing here, with Kylo Ren, but there is something he does know -- a grounding, comforting presence waiting in the sleeve of his coat. Clearly Ren has bewitched him, somehow, stolen his memories. They're lying abed together, and there's a slight but telling aching in his bare lower half that confirms his theory of what Ren has been using him for. Hux sees red.

Before Ren can utter another word, Hux leans forward and swipes at him with his vibroblade. Ren dodges the first turn, but he catches him on the second swing, sticking the blade in his chest. To his credit, Kylo doesn't scream, though his reaction is something far worse, something that makes Hux's blood curdle. He clutches the stab wound, and looks up at Hux with confused, pained eyes. "Is this what you wanted? Why did you wait?" he asks, desperately.

No, no. Something horrible has happened here, something has gone horribly wrong. And Hux is still sitting here, stupidly -- why is he still here? 

He turns and bolts from the room, darting into some sort of gaudy, over-stylized hallway. There's plants -- why? -- paintings, vases: it's becoming very clear that Hux is not on the Supremacy, or any other starship, for that matter.

Hux lets out an agonized breath. How long has he been -- asleep? What has he been doing? What has Ren been doing with him, apart from... Is there anywhere he can even hope to run?

He keeps moving, each hallway growing more ridiculously impressive and large the closer he seems to get to -- wherever it is he is trying to go. A quiet gasp from the corner is enough to freeze him in his tracks: Hux whirls. A tall, long-haired girl in some kind of uniform is watching him, a panicked look on her face. Oh. He pulls his coat tighter around himself.

"Your Excellency!" the girl squeaks, in a heavy accent. "A-are you all right? You seem, that is..." she trails off, face red. "I heard on the comms, the Supreme Leader had called for medical."

Hux stares at her, suddenly feeling very foolish. "Your Excellency?"

"O-oh, I'm sorry, Emperor Hux! I am-- I am new to this language, I did not mean to offend," she says, eyes wide. 

"Emperor," Hux echoes, hollowly. He looks at his greatcoat, finally -- taking in the amount of stripes covering his sleeves. More than ever before. He feels nauseous.

Heavy footsteps fall behind him. The girl gasps, her hands going to cover her mouth. Hux turns, and looks. The mighty Kylo Ren, one hand limp at his side, the other pressed against his stab wound, looks back at him. He looks awful. Worse: he looks pathetic, too.

"Ren," Hux finally says, teeth grit. "What did you do to me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings:  
> \- Hux wakes up with Ren holding him without his consent and is triggered by this  
> \- Hux assumes that Ren has been using mind control to force him to have sex with him (although this is not the case)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW in the end notes

"Long live the Supreme Leader," Hux chokes out. These are probably the last words he had been given the chance to speak as a free man.

_What a waste._

Hux is in his quarters, the ensuing battle on Crait having finally ended, but the scene keeps on playing in his head, over and over, in a torturous loop. He'd never thought he'd live to see this happen -- but today, his lifelong faith in the First Order has left him. Ren has left him, too, but the bruises he pressed into his throat with his Force treachery have not.

Hux runs bacta over his wounds, grimacing from the pain. It hurts him to breathe now, in more ways than one. Well. There’s the matter of his neck, first and most obviously. Second, his ribs, which Ren had easily fractured upon hurling him into the walls. (The press of his lungs against them with every inhale is nearly excruciating.) And third -- finally -- there is nothing worse than being forced to draw breath in a world where his life’s work is being run into the ground by the idiotic child that is Kylo Ren.

But Hux knows himself well by now. Knows what he will become. Giving in has never been an option for him and it won’t be now. He will breathe and keep breathing until Kylo Ren is no more, and he has taken his rightful spot as Emperor of the galaxy.

These bruises are more than just his pain. They are a reminder. They are his determination.

-

Ren is trembling. He steps forward, looking so lost. Hux has never seen him this way. He's not even sure he ever could have even _imagined_ him this way. It’s... discomforting, to say the least.

“Hux, I— nothing, I swear.”

Ren looks like he wants to say more, but the servant girl blurts something out before he can try. “You're bleeding, sir," she sputters.

Hux almost wants to roll his eyes. _Brilliant observation, yes._ Clearly Ren has chosen the galaxy’s best and brightest to work beneath him. It’s a wonder any of them are even still alive.

"You there," he snaps, turning to the girl. "You called me Emperor. What--" Infuriatingly, Ren interrupts him before he has the chance to get another word out.

"Hux, please, can we just talk?" he pleads, that lost look still on his face, his voice soft like he's speaking to a scared animal. "Something-- something is wrong. Something has happened to you."

"You don't say," Hux deadpans.

Ren steps forward, gazing at him with watery eyes. Pathetic. And, inexplicably, this tugs at something deep within Hux, at a part of him that doesn't even feel like it's fully there. "Please," Ren begs. "I want to help you. Let me--let me take c... let me take you to the medcenter, at least." He extends a hand, and Hux instinctively steps back, anticipating a crushing pressure on his windpipe. It never comes. Ren's hand remains outstretched, eyes still wide and blood dripping from his chest, until Hux realizes what's on his finger.

It's the ring. Rae's parting gift for him.

He swallows, and looks down at his own hand. There's a simple silver band with red kyber in the center.

He can feel Ren's eyes on him.

"Give it back," he says, quietly, and Ren's eyes widen. "And I'll come to the medcenter. And you-- what's your name?"

The girl jumps. "E-Eana, sir."

"You'll join us."

"Y-yes, sir. Of course."

Wordlessly, Ren, ever the drama queen, steps forward and passes his ring to Hux, his hands shaking like this simple action will kill him. Hux grabs it quickly, before Ren has the chance to take it back.

Good. Now he can work on his escape plan.

He nods, curt, and turns away from Ren. "Let's go."

-

Hux has been waiting outside of the throne room for almost an hour now.

There's something very deliberate about this, of course. The waiting. Ren thinks it will make him sweat. Thinks he'll spend this time agonizing over how to win his favor. What he can offer. In truth, Hux already knows what he has to do. He just doesn't know if he can go through with it. There are things worse than dying, and this might be one of them. But, also, there are things he has to see through. Rae's vision for the galaxy. Peace. Order. And Ren's head, on a spike. If he can survive long enough to see his goals to fruition, it will all have been worth it. He was already set on dying to achieve them. This isn't that much more of a stretch.

(Anyway, Ren has never been known for his patience. The length of the wait is probably taking a greater toll on him than it has on Hux.)

The time for plotting and agonizing is over. He's just unsure as to whether or not he should reveal his hand, how much he knows. (About Snoke, about the girl.) But, well, he may not have a hand to play if he hesitates now.

The door opens. There, on the throne, awaits Ren. A laugh bubbles up in Hux's throat, but he quickly suppresses it. There's just something so... Something. About seeing Ren sitting on that throne. The audacity of it. Something it evokes within him. What that is, Hux is not sure. Still, he steps inside.

"Supreme Leader," he greets, hollow. The words feel wrong attached to Ren.

"Hux," Ren says, simply. Intentionally. He knows the implication will get a rise out of Hux. Well, he just won't give Ren a reaction. "I apologize for the wait. My duties have... expanded a bit. It's a given, of course, with my new title."

"Yes, I can see you're very busy," Hux says, as if it's not plainly obvious that Ren has been sitting alone in the throne room doing kriff knows what. "What did you want to speak with me about?"

Ren smiles, predatory. And. Hux has never been scared of Ren before. But that was back when Snoke was in the picture, back when they still had some sort of buffer.

Back when Phasma was still here.

Now, it's just him and Ren. In some sick sense, Hux supposes, they're all the other really has left. For that reason alone, he doesn't want to be afraid of Ren. That's just wishful thinking, though.

"Your last few strategies have been lacking, to say the least," Ren says. "I was wondering if you had a good reason for this. Perhaps your attention has been... split?" Ren bites his lip, like he's trying to keep himself from laughing at his own joke. Hux presses his nails into his palms to keep himself from sinking them into Ren's throat.

"With all due respect, Supreme Leader, I am not the only one who has made dubious calls as of late. To single me out -- well, I doubt any accusations of hypocrisy will be well-received by you, so let's cut to the chase. Why am I here?" Hux asks.

"What use are you?" Ren sneers. The words come out so venomous that for an instant, Hux is startled.

"To the Order? I have--" Hux begins, the list already endless. Ren waves him off knowingly.

"No, not to the Order," he says. "To me. Personally."

Ah. So Hux was right. This _is_ the game they're playing. He just didn't think Ren would be bold enough to ask for it outright. Well, he can play along. It's easier if Ren thinks this was his own idea.

Hux steps closer, and shoots an eyebrow up. "I have many uses, Supreme Leader." He doesn't miss the faint shiver that passes through Ren. "Where would you like me to start?"

"...Show me."

Hux pauses. "How-"

He's halfway through the word when he feels himself being yanked across the room by an invisible force. Ren drops him inches from his feet and Hux scrambles up, face burning. Ren is smirking. This is all just a game to him.

"I could snap your neck in an instant," Ren says, "If I wanted it. I could break this room into pieces with the Force. I've shown you what I can do. Now you show me."

Hux sniffs, and dusts his uniform off, doing his best to regain his composure. "Really, Supreme Leader, this isn't necessary."

"I--"

He moves forward and brushes his hand over Ren's, leaning in towards his ear. Ren's hair tickles the sides of his face. "I know what I came here to do," he whispers. He doesn't miss the minute shiver that passes through Ren. He's weak, so weak. Maybe Hux _can_ go through with this.

His head is pounding as he sinks to his knees and undoes the straps at the front of Ren's trousers, pulling him free. Balking at what he sees. Hux doesn't dare look up: he doesn't want to see the smug look that he knows is on Ren's face.

But for some inexplicable reason, he does look up. And oddly, surprisingly -- Ren's not smiling, but rather, he looks just as panicked as Hux feels. 

"What-- what are you doing," Ren stammers, though it's not really a question. He thinks. There's an awkward moment of silence and... a lingering, indescribable feeling hovering in the air between them. 

Hux laughs at the absurdity of it all, and the moment is gone, Ren's gaze withering now. He wants that perplexed look back on his face -- so much so that he lurches forward, perhaps too quickly, and takes Ren into his mouth.

A strangled noise escapes from Ren, or it might be Hux. Or maybe it's both of them. And Hux-- Hux has no idea what the hell he is doing. He assumed there'd be some kind of grace that came naturally with this sort of thing, but the awkwardness in the room is stifling. It was easier when they were arguing. Now there's just the sound of Ren's heavy breathing above him, and the blood pounding in his ears. Kriff, can't Ren contribute somehow? Though maybe that's too much to ask for -- since when has Ren ever helped him with anything?

"You're so soft," Ren chokes out, as if hearing his thoughts, and, oh, no, this is so much worse. Hux wants to yank him down and _crush him beneath his shoes_. Ren quirks an eyebrow, clearly amused. "I wouldn't object," he says, smirking. 

Hux pulls away with an obscene pop, and swipes at his mouth, glaring. "Stay out of my head," Hux seethes. "You're disgusting."

"If I am, then so are you, General. You're enjoying this."

Of course Ren uses his title _now_. Hux thinks about giving a rebuttal, but decides against it. If Ren is dense enough to think he's here by choice, then he's even more of an idiot than Hux initially took him for. If that's even possible, of course.

Ren growls and grips him by the hair, hard. Ah. So he heard that.

“You wanted this,” he hisses. “Just admit it.”

It’s Hux’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Would you like me to lie to you?” he sneers.

“You already are,” Ren presses. “Thank me.”

“For?”

“For indulging you. For _permitting_ you this. It was your decision after all.”

Hux forces neutrality onto his face. He's already on his knees for Ren but somehow, this is so much more humiliating. The disgrace of it. He already knew, but to hear Ren speak it aloud only adds insult to injury. And off the smile that's back on Ren's face, he knows exactly what he's doing. Of course he does.

“Thank you, Supreme Leader,” he grinds out.

“Good.” Without warning Ren pulls him back onto his cock. Hux sputters in surprise, but doesn’t pull away. “Now get back to work.”

-

The medcenter is empty, and quiet, save for the slow beeping of the machinery they have Hux wired up to. Ren hovers frustratingly close, apparently both nervous to see the results of the scan and to get close to Hux, like he'll be bitten if he does. The doctor mulls over Hux's results, makes a quiet noise, and pulls away from the machine.

"Well?" Ren asks, impatient as ever. Hux, too, just wants this to be over with. This has to be an act, some sort of performance orchestrated by Ren, and everyone in this wretched place. Convoluted, certainly, but he wouldn't put it past Ren to toy with him in this way, just to see him suffer. Ren has never hesitated to make a mockery of him. Hux's best guess? This is Ren gloating. Ren showing Hux just how much he's won. And he has. Ren has everything Hux has ever wanted. Hux, on the other hand, has nothing. Not even himself, anymore. Not even his own mind, likely polluted by whatever Force mind trick Ren has been using on him.

Hux has no idea how long Ren plans on drawing out whatever game he's playing now, but he does know that once it's over, his chance to escape will be gone.

He mulls over a plan and looks to the door, where Eana is standing. Her presence in the room strangely puts slightly him at ease, even though all she has done is stand in the corner awkwardly and shuffle about. He chalks it up to her being the first face he saw upon his escape from Ren.

The doctor folds her arms and looks Hux over. "Mm. Like you suggested, there is some minor head trauma, though nothing serious. Certainly nothing dangerous enough to result in memory loss, which is my larger concern. No, there is cognitive impairment, but it's from a different source." She starts detaching the monitors from Hux's scalp.

"What source?" Ren grinds out. 

"Unknown, at the time being."

"How very helpful," Ren says.

"May I?" Hux asks, and moves to view the monitor. True to her word, the report shows minor head trauma, et cetera. What Hux is more interested in is this alleged cognitive impairment. Perhaps a consequence of whatever brainwashing Ren has subjected him to. He feels ill, but this is not the time for that. He has to--

"Will you stop that?" Ren shouts, startling everyone in the medcenter. Hux looks over at him, alarmed. Ren seems to realize himself and clears his throat awkwardly. "I'm sorry," he says. "I just--" his face hardens. "Will you stop thinking that I... I would..." he trails off. That lost look is back in his eyes again. "Could we just have a minute alone?" 

It takes Hux half a moment to realize that Ren is addressing the others in the room, and not him, given how intently Ren is staring at him. Or maybe-- maybe he is addressing Hux, asking for permission. The concept seems foreign, but admittedly, nothing is adding up today. Hesitantly, Hux nods, and the room quickly clears out.

Ren steps towards him almost instantly, and Hux instinctively moves back. Apparently that was the wrong thing to do because Ren's face scrunches up like he's been hit. "Damn it, Hux, just... what happened?" he asks.

"Haven't you been paying attention, Ren? Because I was under the impression that the entire point was that I don't know what's been happening," Hux snaps back. "Or did you need a recap beginning from when I stabbed you?"

"I don't understand what could have caused this," Ren says, pulling at his hair. Hux feels the sudden urge to move towards him, tell him to stop, but it passes by and then it's gone in an instant.

That doesn't make it any less concerning, though.

Hux breathes out and closes his eyes. "All right."

"What?"

"It's possible that I don't... have all the information," Hux admits. "I am willing to listen. But, first, Ren. Where are we?"

Ren blinks, apparently surprised by this turn of events. "Well, uh. Naboo. In your palace."

" _My_ palace?"

"You designed it."

Hux laughs. "Seriously? _I_ built this chrome nightmare? Are you sure I haven't been brainwashed?"

Ren wilts. Right. Not the time for jokes. Hux looks back to the machine, and thinks on what it says.

"You-- you know you can leave, right?" Ren blurts. "If you don't, er, believe me. That is. I, uh. You're Emperor. I don't have any power over you. So if you don't want to be here, you can just. You know. Go."

Hux makes eye contact with him. Not sure whether or not he should call Ren on his bluff. But it is a bold move to make. One that the emotionally exhausted man in front of him doesn't seem to have the strength to make right now -- no matter how severe Hux's impressions may be of his past self. Anyway, Hux is exhausted too.

He shakes his head. "I'll stay." Ren looks up, so hopeful, that Hux immediately regrets his quick wording. "For now," he adds. "I need answers." Ren dims considerably at this, but he still looks relieved.

Oh, kriff. What is he getting himself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings:  
> \- Hux thinks on Ren's abuse of him in TLJ, and the pain from his injuries is described  
> \- Coerced/nonconsensual sex in a flashback scene: Hux feels pressured into giving Ren a bj into maintaining his position in the Order, and also plans to use this as leverage against Ren somehow


End file.
